My aunt Flo and I

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Every girl has an aunt Flo in her life and I am no exception. Some people liked to refer to her as my ‘chum’ or my ‘best friend’ but I liked to keep my distance from her. So aunt Flo it was for me. Period.

My aunt Flo and I, we’ve had a love-hate relationship all my life. I realized early on that she and I would not be meeting very often. My aunt Flo wasn’t like other girls’ aunt Flos. I would get a visit from her only once every 3-4 months unlike most girls who got a visit from their aunt Flo every month. As a teenager, I was totally fine with this arrangement. Who the hell wants to meet Aunt Flo every month, I thought. Most girls complained of feeling depressed, achy and cranky when their Aunt Flo was around. I sure was happy that I didn’t have to endure that month after month.

Once my aunt Flo went without visiting me for nearly 7 months, and that’s when I started to worry that she was never coming again. Thankfully, it was just a temporary tiff and she went back to her regular schedule after that. That was pretty much when I realized the value of having aunt Flo in my life. I was no longer a teenager, and I really didn’t mind having aunt Flo come over to visit every month. In fact, I positively insisted on it and fretted every time she was late. But I was never destined for a monthly visit and had to settle for one every 2-3 months. That worked fine for both of us for a short while.

Then came a time in my life when I didn’t want aunt Flo to visit me anymore. Well, only temporarily. I was experiencing major changes in my life and having her around did not gel with my plans. I did many things to prevent her from coming, stuff I cannot talk about on this blog. But she insisted on visiting me irrespective. Then I don’t know what happened, but all of a sudden, one day she surprised me by not coming at the expected time. And I was overjoyed. Now I can move on with my life, I said to myself. But this Flo, she is one heck of a smart lady. All this was just a ploy to make me believe that she was gone when in fact she returned to haunt me as soon as I began enjoying my new life.

Ever since then, I have tried every trick in the book to make her go away but she insists on being a part of my life. Like yesterday, when I was about to celebrate the fact that she had not visited me for 33 whole days, she cunningly made an entry. That too first thing in the morning! How I wish I could make her go away. Heck, even teenagers these days have the wherewithal to stall aunt Flo, then why am I, a full grown woman of unmentionable age, not able to manage it? What’s wrong with me?? It’s not as if I am talking about permanent retirement here; I am just asking her to disappear for a short while. And then she will be welcome again in my life.

Well, as I ponder over my dilemma, I hope my dear readers will take pity on me and share their aunt Flo stories or give me some ideas on how to give her a hiatus. As back-up though, I think I should consider entering Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears’ phone numbers on speed dial.

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