May 9, 2008...3:40 pm
Please don’t go…….
Only 2 more days to go; my parents will leave for India on Sunday. And I can’t even get myself to think about it. I burst into tears every time I have to imagine a scenario without them here (and I assure you it’s not my hormones causing the crying bouts.) The thought of them leaving is like having my heart ripped out of my body. It hurts that much. Every time they visit us, the week of their departure is the hardest for me. I turn into this gloomy, sullen person and can’t think beyond how wonderful it would be if they could live with us or visit us more often. It’s at times like these that I hate the fact that I live so far away from them.
This trip has been particularly depressing because (a) we had cold weather pretty much throughout their visit (b) we couldn’t take them anywhere nice because HG started a new job and i had my medical treatments and (c) all of us were desperately hoping that i would be pregnant while they are here but that didn’t happen. Of course, my mom being my mom, very enthu and all, is still hopeful that i will deliver some ‘good news’ before Sunday so that she can extend her stay. I don’t have the heart to tell her to not hope for too much. I have faced enough disappointment in the last year to know the odds of that happening are very low. But I am happy to let them hope. Maybe some of their positive energy will rub off on me. My dad wisely said today “if things don’t seem to be working out then don’t go out of your way to make them work. It’s nature’s way of telling you there is another plan in place. Just give it your best shot and move on. I know it’s hard in the short run but things will work out in the long run.” It was good to hear it from him.
We always cry at the airport. Massive sobbing followed by non-stop hugs and promises to visit each other soon. My mom will remind me to be nicer to HG and dad will tell me to move back to India. Yet, within a few days, things will return to normal and we will all go back to our regular routines. And, the tears will be held in check until the next visit.
8 Comments
May 9, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I so like what your dad said..
I always wish we were this touch-feely-huggy family but we are so not.. We cry at the airport, but dont hug and stuff.. But yes, it does break my heart each time partings happen. I hate departure lounges in airports.
May 9, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Aww !!, my mom is leaving too, on May 13th and it is gut wrenching. I hate these separations. I really wish i could be with her, forever and ever !!
May 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I hate it too. I don’t always sob when we part, but the times when I do, it’s really really bad & I am crying all the way to the aircraft (when I leave India and come away).
It gets worse as they grow older.
I hope things work out for you both & you soon have a happy, healthy pregnancy.
PS. I’ll respond to your email soon.
x
May 12, 2008 at 8:31 am
Goodbyes are always awful, and particularly airport goodbyes seem to have a terrible finality to them.
Dot and I have something we’ve been working very hard towards but it seems to be just out of our reach. Your dad’s words are so reassuring. I pray you and we keep finding the strength to not give up.
May 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Silent, TAAMommy, Broom and f - i am glad to know i am not the only one grown-up who still weeps when her parents leave.
May 15, 2008 at 8:55 pm
chakli, I totally feel your pain. I cry everytime my parents leave for india too. I have a love-hate relationship with them - can’t do with them can’t do without them kind of thing - but we mutually tear up everytime we have to say goodbye.
There is something in what you Dad says. Even so though, I say a little prayer for you every night so you may get what you want. (Hopefully that didn’t freak you out !)
-Priya.
May 17, 2008 at 1:04 am
Priya, thank you so much for the prayer! Things have been better for me lately and I know it’s all because my friends have been sending positive wishes my way.
I too have a love-hate relationship with my parents. We argue endlessly when they are here but the moment they head back to India I start missing them terribly.
May 20, 2008 at 6:22 am
Chakli-I argue horribly with my parents and when they leave I feel miserable. Your dads words are very wise. Good Luck to you and hugs
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